first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
