please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Sorry my hands just texted you
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
