You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
