I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
