he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
