drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
