so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The adults are the big ones right?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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