Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
