please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
