But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I CAN MOONWALK!
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
