actually, I'm a sock model
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
