just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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