this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
