If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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