just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
