I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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