I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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