Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
it glows. i had to have it.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
