No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
