i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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