Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
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