how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I puked a lego.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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