Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
