I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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