Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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