Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
