hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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