One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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