I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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