are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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