There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
