And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
