This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
