dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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