Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
