people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
