They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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