Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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