any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
This couple is walking their pig around campus
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
