a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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