Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
