i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
