If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
