I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
