Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
