Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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