also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
