from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Ladies don't puke and tell
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
