you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
