Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
